Not Knowing

Something struck me today, thinking about my husband's paperwork.
Even though been it's difficult waiting, I have this peace. A peace that fills my thinking so I won't worry.
At the beginning of this long process, I prayed to be strengthened but through peace. I didn't want to be freaking out all the time about the timing and the fact that my life is pretty much in the air until the papers land. Thankfully my prayers were answered and I have been more in peace these past few weeks than I could have ever hoped for.
What's funny, is that people around me are the complete opposite.
While visiting my hometown, it was something I heard at least once from everyone. The same from everyone too. They went on about the government and their system. About how 'they couldn't believe that it was so difficult for the people who wanted things done legally but so easy for the illegals to live there.' Even though most of it was true, I just wanted to turn around and leave when most people opened their mouths. More complaints were shot out verbally than I alone have had mentally. In my mind it seemed so childish for the others to complain about something so personal to me; I just made me think a lot.
Yes, it is hard not knowing when. There are so many things that can't be planned, so many "unknowns." If any of you know me personally, you would understand how difficult this would have been for me. I prefer everything in my life planned out, with detail and color. I don't like surprises and I usually need to know what's happening next. For now, everything is cloudy and I'm not sure what to do. But I have learned that He does know and that He sees what's coming up next. I've learned that He just wants me to trust Him to make everything alright.
Thankfully God has given me the patience and His amazing peace so that I can go through each day thanking Him. That's all.

Thank.

Him.

Thankfully Time Flies

Last month my grandmother had surgery. It went well but was followed by sickness. There was a second surgery that was suppposed to happen at the beginning of October but, because of the sickness afterwards, my grandmother cancelled. Before we knew it was canceled, my family booked flights to go see her. With her sick and in the hospital, she would need additional care and so would my grandpa. Even after we heard the news of the cancelation, we just figured that the surprise (we had no intention of telling them) would help her with the healing process.
Well the beginning of October came and off we went to visit.
Thankfully the few people who knew that we would be coming didn't spill the beans this time and we were able to surprise a handful of people! A good friend of the family and her entire family were shocked to see me. My grandparents were the most shocked out of anyone. Well, they were the only ones to cry...
It's great knowing that there are still a few people who value us and enjoy seeing our faces when we visit.

Unfortunately, my husband isn't able to cross into the U.S. yet. We are set in crossing the "right" and legal way, so we must hold our horses! But let me tell you, it was more difficult than I imagined to leave him home alone.
When I made plans to come, I didn't think to much about it. I prayed and I knew that it might be the last time that I would see some of my family for a long while, so I just trusted and booked the flight. Having to be apart from my husband didn't cross my mind as "going to be difficult" because I knew he'd be waiting for me and that the trip was just over a week. But it has! It's been rough sleeping without him and even having to share a bed with my sister again! Eating with a bunch of familiar faces, just not his. Things like that, make me miss him that much more! I know that people say it's because we're newlyweds and that I'll think differently in the future. But I hope I never do. I love waking up to his face. I love that we pray together at night before we doze off. I love to try to impress him with my cooking. It's something I never want to be without! Him.